You are on a roll with your goals and all of a sudden out of nowhere, you make a decision that will lead you straight to feeling disappointed and block you from achieving your goal. There are distinctive behaviors that we have in our everyday lives that lead us to self-sabotage… Do you do have these behaviors in your own life?
What is Self-Sabotage?
According to my friend Google, self-sabotage is a behavior that interferes with long-standing goals. It’s having the behaviors that are completely against what you are trying to achieve, but you still do it. Now, that you know what self-sabotage is, the number 1 step you need to do is take responsibility. Take action and avoid those behaviors that will lead you to self-sabotage. What are those?
5 Common Behaviors That Lead Straight to Self-Sabotage
- Perfection – The all-or-nothing attitude that prevents you from taking action, waiting for the right time or waiting for the perfect environment or situation.
- Procrastination is self-sabotaging. It is a serious sign of it. When you procrastinate and wait to do something because it’s not the right timing or it’s not the right season. Well here’s the good news! There’s not gonna be a perfect time. You’ll only find the perfect time when you start to take action. Yes, you got it right!
- Not Feeling Good Enough is the background to why we are deciding to do something. “We’re not worth it.” “We don’t feel good enough,” so we need to punish ourselves through self-sabotage.
- Expecting the worst. Because you feel that you are not good enough, you automatically go to the place where you are not going to be successful. You actually are preparing yourself for failure. You are preventing having the pain of failure, so you are expecting the worst… so you feel not good enough… so you procrastinate because you wanted to be just perfect. See how they are correlated?
- Blaming responsibility. “I just don’t have the time to… everyday because I got kids, I need to cook healthy food, I gotta clean the house, I got work… so I just don’t have 15 minutes every day to…” I know exactly because the whole time I was working in the corporate world, that was my number 1 excuse – “I just don’t have time because I got a lot of important things to do.”
And to add one more… Toxic people are a constant in your life. I had this story just last week from someone who’s interested to be in the Going Beyond the Food Academy. She was putting the responsibility on her husband. Clearly, her husband does not trust her and does not have confidence in her that she will achieve her goals. He was not supportive of her enrolling in the program. He is a toxic individual in her life, not believing in her, making her not take action and not jump in to make her life better. If you are surrounded by toxic individuals in your life, that could be a reason why you are self-sabotaging because you are constantly being sent off the message that you are not good enough, that you just don’t do anything right, so might as well do nothing.
What should we do to get out of self-sabotage behaviors?
Stop working on the symptoms, ladies. Stop putting a band-aid by applying more control to your food. Instead, work on those behaviors… Work on accepting that perfection is not something we need to achieve. We don’t need to be perfect. We need to have compassion to ourselves in the same way we need to have compassion for other people. The same thing for procrastination – just be done with it and start!
How do we learn to do those things?
The number 1 step you can take to stop all those self-sabotaging behaviors is working on yourself. Personal development is the solution. It’s not in the development of another diet or another set of rules on your food. It’s getting to know yourself better by doing exercises such as journaling. You know that I am a big advocate of that because it did change my life. It is an exercise of self-discovery. You can also try meditation, visualization, movement that is associated with breath and self-awareness – walk in nature. You can start developing a relationship with yourself.
Right now, it seems complicated than it really is. You might be thinking, “I don’t even know where to start.” That’s totally okay. Personal development skills and tools are not being taught in most places. This is something we brush over because we believe it’s not important. You can pick up books such the Anatomy of the Spirit. Listen to my prior podcasts that can teach you skills to learn to know yourself better. You can also try the program that I am currently testing – The Going Beyond the Food Academy. It’s a personal development program. In there is a course on Self-Sabotage. I encourage you to check it out and learn more about it to see if it’s something that can help you achieve your personal goals.
Last week’s episode, we had Debra Atkinson in the show and she talked about the 6 biggest menopause myths that keep you from thriving. I suggest you check it out! You can listen to the episode here.
Next episode, we’ll have Christina Grenga to talk about the surprising link between faith and health. Stay tuned for this powerful discussion!
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Links mentioned in this episode:
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Beyond The Food Community: https://www.stephaniedodier.com/community
The Crave Cure: https://stephaniedodier.com/cravecure
Safe Skincare-Beauty Counter Collective: https://www.stephaniedodier.com/safeskincare/
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