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I’m doing the damn thing… launching a women coaching certification.

Launching a women coaching certification

In this episode of the podcast I’m taking you behind the scene… curious? You’ve got to listen.

What you’ll learn listening to this episode:

• Why I refused to create a certification for years
• The “behind the scene” work that needed to be done first
• How I build the curriculum
• My dreams for this program…

Mentioned in the show: 

Non-Diet Coaching Certification

Health Habits Checklist

Rebellious Eating Solution Webinar

Quiz: Is It You or Your Diet?

Undiet Your Life Coaching Program

Episode Transcript:

Doing the Damn Thing… Launching a Women Coaching Certification

This is episode 355 of the Beyond the Food Show.

and today I’m doing the damn thing. I’m launching a women coaching certification and I’m taking you behind the scene on how I coach myself to do the damn thing. Ready? Stay tuned.

Hello my sisters and welcome back to the podcast. If you’ve listened to podcast 354, I kind of hinted at this podcast today. On 354, I talked to you about how I overcame a lot lots of resistance in order to put a big project forward in my business, which I’m sure you guys have a lots of things you’re resisting also in your life. And today I’m revealing what is the damn thing that I was resisting so much and how I overcame that resistance in what it’s going to look like. I’m gonna give it to you right now. It’s the Non Diet Coaching Certification, e Women coaching certification created to liberate women. So let’s talk about this.

I hope you’re doing well. I am doing very well. Today, I amrecording this episode on April the 17th, and you’re going to hear it days later. And I chose to record this episode the day after the launch of the non diet coaching certification for one reason: is I wanted to share the behind the scene story in the energy, the emotion, the thoughts that I was feeling after launching this program into the world. I wanted to be able to take you through the full behind the scene of this launch for me and for our business, and for our student as well, from a place of having lived it.

And this is what we’re gonna do today together. I’m gonna take you through the behind the scene of the creation and the launch of the non diet certification and just for you know, it’s a year and a half of work, and not in the sense of work that you probably thinking about. A whole different kind of work that had to happen in order for me to be able to share, this program with you. So it’s really gonna be a behind the scene. If you wanna know about the technical details of the non diet coaching certification, we’re gonna talk about it a little bit, about halfway through this podcast, but I would highly recommend that you go and visit the page, stephanie do.com/non coaching certification in order to get like the nitty gritty detail about the certification. We have an extensive frequently asked question as well. I gathered all the questions from the, consultation that I did over the year for this program, and I put it all out there.

Today is gonna be a lot about the mental, spiritual, and emotional work that needed to happen in me in order to be able to put this program out there. And be quite honest with you, I refuse to create a certification for years. And I was quite actually vocal about that on the podcast here in my group program, in conversation with my colleague, I was quite adamant that I would never create a certification for my methodology. Crazy. And here we are today and I’ve just launched a certification and I help you understand why I did that and how I did that. For those who’ve been listening to the podcast for years, you probably remember like episode 2, 3, 4 of this podcast, which is like three years ago where I was talking and teaching you about imposter syndrome and how to overcomeimposter syndrome. And,and the reason why I talk about imposter on so many episodes is because it’s the number one reason that you have given me as to why you’re not pursuing transitioning your business to the non-AI approach, or starting a business, helping other women in the non-AI approach. By like far, like 75% of the people who stay on the sideline is because of imposter syndrome. And I have been leading in a position of leadership since my early thirties, since the age of 28 years old in the retail industry and then in the health and coaching industry for the last 10 years. And it’s not just in our industry, that imposter syndrome is present. It was all over my prior career in the retail industry. I, I would want, I wanted, I was trying to promote women in my businesses and I couldn’t because women would, they felt that they weren’t quote unquote good enough to be promoted in the corporate world or to start a business in the coaching world. And I thought on that for years. And I always came back to, it’s not the piece of paper on the wall behind you that’s gonna create the confidence in you to get a promotion or to start a business.

And I got myself into this place of being mad at the system, di culture, patriarchy, the corporate culture, and the toxic business culture that taught my peers other women, that they needed that piece of paper. And then the piece of paper, the degree the certification would deliver. Confidence. I didn’t have a degree in business. I have a degree in nutrition, but I don’t, still don’t have a degree in entrepreneurship and in business and here I am teaching you about business and entrepreneurship. I know at the D n A level, you don’t need that piece of paper. And I got myself into that space where, I said, and I remember saying these words, I’ll never do a certification because I’m just co-opting that system of oppression that tell women they’re not good enough.

And about a year ago I was teaching a class inside of the mentorship program, which is, by the way, if you’re new to the podcast, the non diet mentorship program is where I have tested over the last three years how to teach the going to be on the food methodology to professional over seven cohorts, that is now becoming the non diet coaching certification. So I was teaching a class about a year and a half ago, we’ll say, on marketing, and we were talking about messaging and copywriting and I was telling my student, be sure when you write your copy, when you write social media posts, you don’t use industry jargon and your. You need to make sure that you are being careful, carefully aware, deeply aware of who you’re talking to. These people, your future client haven’t done the work yet. They’re still stuck in diet culture. They’re still under the oppression of the weight loss industry in diet culture. So if you’re using the language from somebody who’s already gone to intuitive eating and made peace with their body, they, when they’re still stuck in dark culture, they won’t connect with you. And as I was saying these word, a wave of heat just came pouring down on me, literally in my body sensation, and in that fraction of a second, I realize that’s what I was doing when I was marketing my professional training program. I was upholding a message, a marketing message that you don’t need a certification to be confident to people, some of you listening who had not yet understood how we created confidence, you and perhaps your colleague are still stuck in thinking that the piece of paper on the wall is what’s gonna make you a great coach, a great practitioner. It’s gonna make you confident to launch your business.

And I realized that I was doing a disservice. I was not helping diet culture dismantling. I wasn’t helping getting more professional train in an anti-D diet culture approach by stubbornly and rebellious, refusing to call my program a certification. To give a piece of paper a certification, literally eight and a half by 11 piece of paper, I was so rebellious and I was so like stubborn, I was refusing to create that and create a logo for people to put on their website, and I needed to change that. And so in that moment, I will still remember that day I was teaching that class on copywriting and messaging, ending the class and like had to have a one-to-one conversation from me to me. So I grabbed my journal and I did a bunch of writing and self-awareness, thought download we call it in the cognitive behavioral coaching model, and realized that I was stuck in rebellious thinking. And I digged, and I digged, and I digged, and I work with my coach on this and the real reason why I was refusing to do a certification, it was because I was afraid. Yeah, I was hiding my fear with this rebellious line of thinking. And here we go again. I coach people on this over and over again. When we talk about rebellious eating, what we’re really talking about when we’re help people discovering why their rebell eat is because they’re afraid of claiming their authority over foods, right, or over their body. They’re afraid of being in charge of their own life. And for me, in the case of being stuck in rebellious thinking, the fear that I was not allowing myself to see, because the first thing you need to do is being aware of your thought and being aware of why you’re afraid was two things. It was cancel culture in our own industry, in the social activism circle, we have a big history of cancel culture in between each other, right? One of the reasons why our work is slowly climbing up the level of public awareness is because we sometimes self destr between each other, right? And so I was afraid of being canceled because who am I to create a certification for non coaching in my industry? And then two, was really another layer of me being worthy. And if you’ve been listening to this podcast, but primarily my other podcast going beyond the food over the last five years, I’ve done a lot of public sharing about one of the main belief that we share as women who have been oppressed by DI cultures that were not enough, and I’ve done a lot of work on that. Like I’m now enough with food, I’m enough with my body image, I’m enough with my health and with my exercise, but with my business, I needed to peel the next layer of enoughness, which is you are enough to create a certification. You are enough to stand on your soapbox and say, the going to be on the food method is the method to help women leaving diet culture behind, not only from a place of lived experience for you, Stephanie as a person, but for the thousand clients you work with or for the hundreds of professional you work with. It works for everyone. It’s time now for you to stand in your soap box to the world and be proud of what you’ve created and share that with authority in the world. And it was just another layer of my onion that needed to be peeled, and that’s why I refuse to do a certification.

So here’s my message to you. Take this for a learning. As you are looking back in your own life, where are you stuck in rebellious thinking? Where are you stuck in being adamant that your way is the right way and what is hiding behind dance.

So I worked over the last year and a half in peeling that layer of that onion and really sticking down in my thoughts and my belief and building up my belief about myself professionally in this industry and the belief that I have in the methodology they’re going to be on the food method beings so amazing and brilliant and powerful for professionals and for client, and being able to stand on my soapbox and share that with the world.

So about four months ago, I came to a place where I fully believed that creating that certification was the right thing to do then we started, Here’s the beautiful thing about the certification is it’s not from the ground up. As I mentioned earlier, I’ve been practicing teaching this over the last three years. Over what, three and a half years to be exact, seven different cohort I’ve passed through the non diet mentorship program. So the curriculum for the certification was like, it’s the same thing. It’s the same thing as the non diet mentorship program, and it’s been iterated, tested, iterated tested, iterated, tested, to find just the right approach of teaching, the right way of delivering this content, so it was super easy. So what really I had to work on in the last four months was really more the branding, the marketing, how it’s gonna show, how it’s going to pull people into that certification from a visual, from a messaging standpoint. And that’s what I worked on for the last four months. And that’s what you see now into the world since yesterday. It’s not e, well, it’s been 24 hours now into the world, and I wanted really a neutral, visual approach through the non diet certification. That’s why you’ll see a lot of black and white and really simple minimalists because the curriculum of the certification stand on its own. It doesn’t need to be sold with a lot of fancy graphic and fancy coloring. What makes this program, it’s the people in it, people coming together wanting to do their own personal work and learning how to help other women. This is a very narrow niche program for people identified as women who help other people self-identified as women, leaving diet culture behind in the most ethical, safe, in conscientious way.

So for those of you who have been looking at the mentorship program, it’s the same thing. The only difference is at the end you will have the option of sitting for exam to be certified. So you’ll have to, there’ll be a classic type exam to be done online and there will be evaluation of your coaching that will have to be done by us. And then you will receive a piece of paper, the thing that I was so rebelling against. You will get it. You will get piece of paper certifying that you’ve studied, they’re going to be on the food method and you are now a non-AI coach.

The beauty of the certification is that we will test you on four different area of coaching. You will become a cognitive behavioral coach. We’re gonna spend two months, which is more than a third of the time we’re studying together really deep diving in coaching. We’re not gonna even talk about food just like we’re doing right now with our cohort. We’re not talking about about food, we’re not talking about body image, we’re talking about the mind, we’re talking about the thoughts, the belief, nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, because that’s where coaching happens. And as I was building this curriculum and the thing that, it was always the number one issue with my student is not knowing how to coach, yet they had a piece of paper on their wall. They were a health coach. They were a, body image coach from another certification somewhere, but they had no idea how to coach people. And for those who thought they knew how to coach, they quickly realized that they were coaching the wrong thing. They were coaching the behavior directly, but not the thought, the emotion behind the behavior. That’s why we’re teaching the cognitive behavioral model of coaching, emotional intelligence, trauma informed program. We have one of our past graduate, Vanessa Preston, who graduated from our program two years ago. She is now a, part of our teaching group. She has two class within our curriculum that is all about trauma and nervous system regulation.

Funny story about Vanessa, vanessa came to me two and a half years ago to studied in the non mentorship program and she’s been looking at my program for over a year, but she felt she wasn’t quote unquote good enough as a therapist. Vanessa is a complex trauma specialized therapist. She’s been doing therapy with folks that have complex trauma background for over 15 years, and she was looking at the mentorship program and she felt not good enough. And she went in to do her nutrition degree in a university in order to feel good enough to come and study with us. And then for the first three months I think of our mentorship, she was finishing her degree in nutrition while studying with me, and then she realized that everything, all that she had been taught about nutrition was actually useless because it was all about calories and macros and dieting. All of that studying, all that investment of time and resources, you remember this girl had a full-time job and she was at the university at night, she invested all these resources and didn’t use a thing. She sent me an email three months ago and she said, still to this day, I’m not using a thing that I learned in two years in university, because it’s pure DI culture.

So anyway, Vanessa now teaches our segments of nervous system regulation and trauma inform within the context of coaching. So we learn all the depth of coaching and you’re practicing on yourself and we learn a self-coaching approach, and then we coach you on how you coach yourself, cuz that’s the only way for you to become a great coach, is by mastering your own thoughts and your own emotion. And a lot of students do that on their own relationship to their body and to food, kind of finalize their own journey by being coached by someone else, us, the leader of the program. And then once we’ve mastered coaching, or at least the approach to coaching, we go in and we apply it to food, and then we apply it to health and to body image. And that’s what makes up, the non diet coaching certification. And at the end, you get to sit for an exam on each one of those elements so you can receive your certification and you can receive your titles as well.

So if you do the full certification, you will receive titles of non diet eating coach, non diet body image coach, and non diet life coach. Because one thing you will learn very quickly in the going beyond the food methodology, and it was never about food or about the body, it was about life. And that’s something that I was afraid to be honest with you. I was afraid to call my program a life coaching program, and I have an episode that’s gonna be coming up in a couple weeks that’s called, Beyond the Food Coaching versus Life Coaching. Because there’s a lot of stigma around life coaching, but over the years and the people that have gone through the mentorship program, I’ve seen people leave the nutrition world and call themself life coach over and over and over again.

Because when you start coaching at that level, the level of the thoughts and the belief and the level of going beyond the food, you quickly I real realized what I have realized seven years ago, that the problem is not the food. The problem is how the person was raised and, and their relationship and their thoughts about themselves.

And that’s my story. I thought I was the only one who was struggling with food because of self-acceptance and family trauma and all of that. And then I, no, no, it’s all my clients. And then I started teaching professional and everybody was telling me the same thing. I end up coaching on relationship and I end up coaching on career, and I end up coaching on emotions and that many of you who are not yet gone through my training will tell me, I get stuck in my coaching, I don’t know what to tell my client. They bring up all these big emotions to the session and, and they start crying and they start talking about their partner and their kids, and I don’t know how to coach them on that. But we need to know how to coach on that because that’s what’s standing behind the disturb relationship to food and the compulsive obsessive eating behavior in the self-hatred and the body dissatisfaction. The problem is not our body or the layer of fat on our body. It’s how we think about our body, because of how we were taught to think about our body because of all the septal message we were told everywhere. And it’s the same thing with food.

So really you become a life coach. Because you are learning our cognitive behavioral coaching methodology, you are able to coach on anything. The way we teach it to you, you can approach any problem. It’s a structure, it’s a framework. No matter what the circumstance that your client present, you just apply the methodology to it and you’re able to coach on anything. And that’s been so transformative for all the professionals that have gone through our program is being able to coach on anything. And recently, over the last year, have been taking in more and more a life coach, right? People who have graduated as a life coach from another program, and then they’re struggling with helping their client, their self-identified women client with confidence without using weight loss as a tool to create confidence. And they’re coming to us to learn how to do that. And the result they’re being getting with their client because they now can use a life coaching tool in a safe, ethical way to help people build self-esteem and better relationship and confidence without having to resort to shrinking their body. So all around, this is my dream for the non diet coaching certification. It disrupts the coaching industry. It disrupts the health coaching industry, which is so entrenched in diet culture and wellness culture, right now. I wanna disrupt the life coaching industry because it’s entrenched in weight loss. I can’t find a life coaching certification out there that is not entrenched in fat phobia, in DI culture, and weight loss. I wanna disrupt that industry as well. And I wanna give the tool to all of you out there who are doing work on intuitive eating and body image. I want to give you the tools that you need to make this work so much easier for your client and for you as a coach, so much easier when you know how to coach.

So I really, I want this program, that’s my dream, that it disrupt the coaching industry cuz the coaching industry was created by men for men. If you go through the ophthalmology and the history of the coaching industry, it was in the context of the business world. It was the Tony Robbins of this world that created a model of coaching that is made by men for men. It was never made for women. It was never comprehensive of how a woman is socialized and how a woman is conditioned. And even for the small segment of the coaching industry that is created by women, it’s unfortunately women that have the same conditioning as you and I from DI culture, from patriarchy in the have not yet done their work on internalized fat phobia. So when they’re teaching coaching, when they’re coaching other women, they’re coaching from an unaware of where, they’re carrying their own fear of fatness.

So I want this program, the non coaching certification to solve that, to give a place for women who understand that and want to do this work, not only learn the intellectual notion, but actually want and recognize that you need to embody this work for yourself first to be able to safely coach other women and how to build a business that is respectful of these values, that is ethical in its structure. Because that’s the other problem that I found when I was trying to, when a question that I know some of you will have, who are you, who is this program certified with, which organization is it associated with? It is not associated with any places. I can’t because how they’re coaching, life coaching or how they’re teaching life coaching, or how their program is associated with weight loss or how their association is upholding non-ethical business practices.

So, we belong nowhere yet. That’s gonna be my next project over the next two to three years is either fine an ethical coaching association that we can affiliate with or create my own, because right now we’re in an island on our own. So, it is a certification that at this point fits nowhere. But you know, for me it’s not a big deal because that’s what the non-AI approach, that’s what intuitive eating is, that’s what body neutrality is, counterculture.

So I know we’re just pioneer. We are disrupting, we’re leading a revolution. We’re years lights ahead of the industry, and I know our island’s gonna become bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, and I know that at some point the shift will happen and there will be many other coaching organization that will fit our paradigm, that will fit our value system that we will be able to associate with and grow with and really impact at the next level.

So, I’m really excited for you to discover this program. To join us ,the next cohort, it’ll begin in July the third. The same structure as an indictment mentorship program was, it’s from July to December, it’s a six month live coaching container, small group coaching. We don’t take in a lot of students we’re doing the work, not just lecturing you, we’re actually coaching you on doing your personal work, so it has to remain small group coaching. And we’re starting July the third and ending December the 14th, and it’s every six months, we have a new cohort. So go and visit the sales page, Stephanie doze.com/non diet coaching certification. And I’m looking forward to sharing this container, this transformational container with many of you that are listening here in July.

If you have any question, there’s things that are not clear either on this podcast or on the page of the program, please send us an email at [email protected] and then we will take notes of where our gaps in communications are or where we need to give more information. You will really be helpful for us to hear from so we can really streamline our messaging and our communication. So feel free to send us an email info stephanie.com and I’ll see you on the next podcast.

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Overcoming resistance 

Overcoming resistance to do what you want to do is where people get themselves stuck. The number 1 mistake people make is resisting the resistance. 

In this episode, I’m going to walk you through another approach to overcoming the resistance.

Powerful questions to ask yourself to discover your relationship to resistance

• What if the resistance was to deliver an important message straight from your intuition? 
• What if partnering with the resistance was the most easeful way for it to release the resistance and move forward with your transformation/goal?
• What if the process of partnering with your resistance created more trust within yourself?

What you’ll learn listening to this episode on Overcoming resistance:

• 6 steps to overcoming resistance in your transformation
• Why fighting resistance is getting your stuck
• Self-leadership approach to transformation
• Why creating safety for resistance is the path to overcoming resistance

Mentioned in the show: 

Health Habits Checklist

Quiz: Is It You or Your Diet?

Undiet Your Life Coaching Program

Episode Transcript:

Going Beyond The Food Ep354-Overcoming Resistance To Do What You Want To Do

This is episode 354 of The Beyond the Food Show, and today, if you are struggling with resisting doing what you need to do to get what you want, this episode is for you. I’m gonna show you and teach you a way of approaching resistance that’s gonna allow you to melt the resistance and do the damn thing.

Ready? Stay tuned.

Hey, my sister. Welcome back to the podcast. The title of this episode is Overcoming the Resistance to Do What You Wanna Do. And I was inspired to share this podcast with you because I have figure it out, a way to overcome my own resistance to a particular project that I have in my business, and it’s about to come to life. So I successfully overcame a resistance that was present for close to one and a half year. And a lot of the work that I do inside of Undiet Your Life or Undiet Your Coaching is learning from my own journey, application with client, seeing what work and what doesn’t work, and coming up with a body of work, coming up with the methodology that can then be applied to masses.

So this particular project in my business has been a learning ground for me for one and a half. I am not gonna reveal to you what this project is and it’s about, because that is not the purpose of this episode. But if you’re listening, live to the podcast, know that within the next two weeks, so this podcast is being released on April the 13th, know that by April the 23rd, this project will be public.

With that being said, I’m gonna leave the project behind for the rest of the podcast and I’m gonna talk about resistance. And I wanna explain to you how I experience resistance. I have this desire to do a thing, and I know it’s for the highest good of me and the highest good of my environment and the people around me. So I want you to think about that in the application and into your own life that it is to, let’s imagine you are a woman who has children, has a child, and you know that you want to break the intergenerational trauma of dieting that your mom passed on to you and you don’t wanna pass it on to your children. You know that you need to do your personal work un dieting your life, learning to eat in a peaceful way, making peace with your body, learning to accept yourself, detox your language and your family in your house, how you speak to yourself to really peel di culture from you. You know that’s right for you. You know you’re gonna live a better life, a bigger life and a bolder life if you do that, and you know it’s going to positively impact your children. I want you to think about that it is you that I’m describing right now, or perhaps that’s not you, but I want you to think of this, one of this big project in your life that you know can be similar to that and have positive impact for you and for people around you and you know it’s the right thing to do, but you’re resisting. You’re resisting. You perhaps describe yourself being stuck. You know it’s the right thing to do, but you just can’t bring yourself to do it.

How do we overcome that resistance? And that resistance is present very often for me inside of Undiet Your Life for people prior to joining Ondi Your life. They have something that happened in their life, becoming a mother, being diagnosed with a health condition, wanting to move forward in their career, wanting to liberate themselves so they can move and leave a relationship, like there’s a trigger in their life. In your life, your listener, and you know that joining my program is the right solution for you. It’s gonna enable you to achieve this big thing, but you just can’t bring yourself to press the buy button.

So what can you do? I’m gonna walk you through six steps for you to overcome that kind of resistance and bring yourself to a place of just doing the damn thing. And the number one step or the number one place where you wanna start is thinking about your relationship to yourself. And I really want you to think about you leading yourself. Self leadership. How are you leading yourself in approaching this transformation, this goal you want to create in your life? Are you leading yourself in this journey? And if you are, how are you meeting the resistance that you’re experiencing? Are you fighting that resistance? Are you the type of leader who gets angry at the resistance at the problem? Are you victim of the resistance? Are you saying, why is this happening to me? Like, why, why is only happening to me and all these other people can do it? Like, are you in the victim mindset? Are you leading yourself at this place in your transformation as a victim of? Are you leading yourself with compassion? Are you leading yourself with acceptance of the resistance as one of the many part of the journey towards your goal? Are you creating safety for that part of you who is resisting doing what’s best for you.

And most often we don’t. Most often we don’t because of how we have learned to lead ourselves through our years being oppressed by DI culture. For many of us, our self-leadership or the way we approach our own transformation is through blaming. It’s through pressure, it’s through fighting. It’s through being an oppressor to ourselves, beating ourselves up like we created this and what’s wrong with me? And like, depriving yourself of goodness in your life because you’re resisting, right? It’s a really, it’s a punitive kind of relationship, right? Think about the old school way of parenting, right? You wanted your child to behave in this way and you imply that punishment was needed in order to create the behavior in the child. That’s what DI culture does to us, right? It punish us, it deprives us until we behave in the way that DI culture says we need to behave in order to get the infinite 2% or 5% result that it promises. For many of us, we’ve been in that mindset since our teens, and that’s the only way we know to relate to ourselves. But when it comes the time to overcome the resistance to do what’s right for us in a non-punitive way, we just don’t know how to engage with resistance.

My invitation for you is to lean in to the resistance, is to meet the resistance you’re experiencing with compassion, with understanding. Oh, it makes total sense that I would be resisting accepting my body because I was, for 20 years since my mid-teens, socialize to hate my body. So now I’m having to do the opposite of what I’ve done my whole life. For sure, it’s gonna be hard. I’m gonna be resisting thinking in this new way.

So lead yourself in a compassionate and safe way. Be the leader you want to experience. You wanna experience safe leadership, compassionate leadership. Lead yourself in that way. And step number two, don’t forget that creating safety as a leader is creating safety for the thoughts you’re having about the resistance, but it’s also creating safety in your body. It’s actually embodying the safety, not just telling yourself, oh, it’s totally normal that I’m experiencing that resistance, but also bringing it to real life into your body by allowing the resistance to be there, to make friend with that resistance. Invest time in being with the resistance in this new way. Invest resources, whatever they are, money, time, mental space, emotional space, to make the resistance you’re experiencing safe for you. Once you’ve embodied, when you’ve led yourself to embody safety, both in the way you’re thinking about the resistance you’re experiencing and into your body, then move into asking yourself consent.

I know this is gonna blow your mind, probably. We live in a society right now, which is very focused on consent, right? Externally, organization, asking their client consent or professional, asking their clients consent. Like we live in a consensual phase of our society, but what we often forget, is that we need to ask ourselves consent in our own relationship to ourself. Remember, you are the leader of your own transformation. Do you ask yourself consent? Do I want to do this? Do you give yourself the option of saying no, or do you operate from I have to. I have to, I have to. I’ll go back to this example of mom, the mother of a child who wants to break up the intergenerational trauma of DI culture. Does she walk into the project of accepting herself and undying her life with I have to and I have to do it fast and it has to happen now or she creates safety for what she is right now and the fact she hates her body and she gives herself the time to sit with what she’s realized that Dia culture is a thing, that she hates her body and it’s just a result of socialization, and then she takes time to ask herself, do I wanna do this work? Do I want to invest time to read new information? Do I want to invest time to show up to being coached, like literally to take an hour off my schedule and have somebody help me understand my brain? Am I ready to do this work? Do I want to do this work? And am I willing to make the arrangement in order for me to do this work?

So asking ourselves consent, and whatever the answer is, allow it to be. And allow the next resistance to move in, right? Perhaps you are asking yourself consent, you’re like, yes, I want to do this. But then it comes to scheduling it into your calendar, and now you hit the new level of resistance, right? You’re looking at your calendar, you’re like, no, I don’t have time for this. It’s impossible. I’m gonna have to sleep less. And then your brain goes back to the old way of leading yourself again, right. These layers of resistance are gonna be throughout your entire creation of your goal, the pursuit of your goal, of your transformation. Once you’ve overcome the first, it’s like peeling, I always say that to my students, like appealing an onion. You gonna peel one layer and another layer will appear.

Allow. Allowance is the path. Allowance is the path for you to overcome the resistance, no matter which layer it is. Allow it to be there and need it. Need that new layer of resistance with compassion and neutrality. And then move into that next layer with the same place. Allow it to be needed with compassion and create safety, and then ask yourself, okay, do I want to say no to certain things on my calendar in order for me to make time and invest my time in becoming and learning and practicing being someone who accepts her body? Do I want to do that? Again, consent. With every layer of the onion, we repeat the same thing. We then ask consensual consent, and then we take the action from that place and we make room in our calendar. We stop doing certain things to do the new things are gonna lead us to become this new version of ourselves.

I’m gonna leave you with three powerful question to ask yourself. You’re not familiar with powerful question, these are a question we coach and teach that within all of my program to help you think, help you create a new way of thinking for the goal you’re going to achieve or for becoming the version of yourself who has the goal, the transformation completed, and practicing thinking like this version of yourself who has transformed herself or has achiever goal. So powerful thinking is a training ground for you to train your brain to think differently in order for you to achieve your transformation and overcome the resistance.

So I’m gonna give you these questions. You may wanna write them down. I’m gonna put them also, as I’m thinking about that, I’m gonna put them in the show note, if you want to copy and paste them. I have them in a Google Doc here, so I’m gonna drop them quickly in the show note. You can go to stephanie 3 54, which is the number of the episode.

Okay, number one question is, what if the resistance I’m experiencing wasn’t there to prove me wrong, but instead to deliver an important message straight from my intuition, wisdom or God, depending on your belief system. So if you’re a God person, replaced the word intuition from God, my innate wisdom, my intuition. It’s like, what if the resistance I’m experiencing right now was there to deliver an important message from my intuition?

Question number two. What if partnering with my resistance was actually the most useful way for this resistance to be release, to be melted away. Explore that. Ask your brain that question, like put yourself in front of a blank piece of paper. Just put your pen, write the question at the top of that journal Norlan entry and ask yourself that question until your brain starts thinking of an answer, and then just start writing.

Third question. What if the process of doing that, of accepting, leaning into my resistance created more trust within myself? What if the action of leaning into my resistance actually allowed me to create more trust within myself? What if that was the gateway of trusting yourself? And just as a side note, trust is the baseline of un dieting your life. So if you’re listening to this podcast because that’s your transformational goal on diet your life, know that the entire journey of accepting your body, of changing the way you relate to health and weight and food is going to be to learn to trust yourself in each one of those circumstance. Learn to trust yourself with food, which your health, with your body, with yourself, with your thinking, with your emotion, because that’s what oppressive system, a K a di culture, patriarchy, steals from us is the ability to trust ourselves. So we have to rebuild this ability to trust ourselves. So what if learning to lead yourself with compassion and safety towards the resistance you’re experiencing was just another way for you to learn to trust yourself?

I hope this helps you approach the resistance in your particular life. I know for me, creating this way of approaching resistance specifically for my community, allowed me to bring a project that has been on my mind for, as I mentioned, a year and a half in the most compassionate, powerful way. And I know that because I approach the resistance in that safe, loving way. What I’m creating when I’m about to put out in the world is going to be safe and powerful and how you are going to experience it if you join me in this new project that I’m creating.

As always, if you have any question, you can submit that at [email protected]. I love you, my sister, and I’ll see you on the next podcast.