Professional Blogs
Intuitive Eating Mentorship For Professional: First Do No Harm
I help women with intuitive eating mentorship programs today but it wasn’t always so…
8 years ago, I was 2 years into my nutrition practice, Carolyn walked into my office. And she had just been diagnosed with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. She desired to be “healthier”.
I proceeded to take a diligent intake. And this intake process included a food journal, detailed health history as well as a symptomology assessment. Based on my assessment I concluded that a “whole food diet” would support her goals. Along with other lifestyle modifications.
Not only how I was teaching nutrition different but also my approach. So Carolyn would add foods to her plate instead of removing foods. Carolyn left my clinic with her food list, food journal and “ideal plate” handout in hands.
Then two weeks later she was back for a follow-up. Within 10 minutes, she was in tears.
“I’m so sorry Stephanie I wasn’t able to follow what you told me to do and thought this time would be different. My urges to binge on processed food at night are back in full force. “
“I ate my kids’ food in secret. What is wrong is wrong with me??”
Are we causing harm to our clients?
Shifting to a non-diet approach to health
The Going Beyond The Food Method™️
Non-Diet Professional Training
If you would like to listen to the article in audio format the Going Beyond The Food Show – Pro Series Season 1 Episode 1
Links mentioned on the episode
PRO Series – Free Training & resources
Non-Diet Coaching Certification
Are we causing harm to our clients?
We do not know what we do not know.
I was aggravating an underlying condition for Caroline. Not only did Carolyn had a disordered relationship with food but also with her body image due to years of chronic dieting. And all of my assessment tools and training never accounted for this condition. I was neither taught to assess how patient-related to food or to consider past dieting behavior in my assessment.
Fast forward 8 years later. When I reflected back on my first few years of practice not only most of my female clients were in fact in a disordered relationship with food but I also was.
Most nutrition experts engage in disordered eating
In 2012, an international study in 14 countries found a whopping 77 percent of nutrition students felt that eating disorders were a concern among their peers. And the reasons behind this are complicated: theories run from an obsessive overexposure to information about food and exercise, to pressure within degrees to be an “ideal nutritionist.”
Individuals that develop disordered eating may at first initiate a quest for a healthier lifestyle but then dysfunctional, compulsive beliefs about food emerge that then impair health, work, and social functioning.
If you are curious to know if have a disordered relationship to food then you should complete our free professional Non-Diet Coaching intake forms. Assess yourself and share your results with us!
Shifting to a non-diet approach to health
Carolyn was the most impactful client-practitioner I have had to this day.
Not only did she triggered in me a must needed professional shift but also a personal transformation. So my quest for another way of serving my client and healing myself began with her.
7 years ago when I searched for support, training and non-diet coaching certification nothing existed. Instead, I read the Health At Avery Size® research and book by Dr. Lindo Bacon. And then began applying a weight-neutral approach to health in my practice.
Over the next 4 years, I collected both a variety of professional and personal skills. This collection of tools is today known as The Going Beyond The Food Method™️. And this non-diet methodology is currently taught in Undiet Your Life Coaching Program
The Going Beyond The Food Method™
The Going Beyond The Food Method™️ is a way of working with clients and patients which removes that emphasis and pressure to eat for weight loss or health. Instead, it embraces the Health At Every Size® weight-neutral approach to health, intuitive eating, body neutrality, mindfulness, and a self-coaching mindset.
This non-diet methodology respects the fact that each human has innate body wisdom. And that our the body knows what we need and what is best for us including food, eating, movement, weight, and self-care.
A practitioner who uses our methodology is focused on helping women rebuild a relationship of trust, respect, and neutrality with their bodies.The client is empowered to identify what will be best for her to optimize their own health and wellbeing.
At the core, a holistic based approach recognizing the 4 human bodies: mental, emotional, spiritual and physical human bodies. This non-diet approach for health coaches, nutritionists or any other health experts is a gentle process. And it focuses on skills building.
Ultimately, it’s about helping women conquer back their power and thrive unconditionally!
Intuitive Eating Mentorship
The Going Beyond The Food Mentorship program is an intuitive eating mentorship program, an anti-diet training and body image professional training. And it’s designed to support health professionals desiring to shift their practice to a non-diet model.
This is what I was seeking but couldn’t find years ago.
As a professional, a non-diet approach to health and nutrition can be scary as it empowers your client and patient to be their own health expert.
Non-Diet Coaching Professional Training
“If we are not going to hand out meal plans and “good and bad” food list, what will we do?”
That is a very common question and also a great starting point to understand which professional skills set will be required in a non-diet approach.
Food choices and healthy habits aren’t only derived from intellectual knowledge but also from our emotions and thoughts. This applied not only to healthy habits but to every habit we choose to do as a human.
As a non-diet practitioner, you will need to help with your clients with the mindset and emotional intelligence tools. We teach self-coaching for intuitive eating.
Chronic dieters and women who dislike their bodies are in their head instead of their bodies. You will need to help them come back into their body and to connect to their bodily sensation including their eating cues. Mindfulness is the perfect tool to cultivate body attunement.
Intuitive Eating Training
Intuitive eating is a well- researched and complete framework to help you reframe the before, during and after relationship to food with women. As a certified Intuitive eating counselor, I have studied directly with Evelyn Tribole and now included this empowering framework with all my clients in our non-diet online training.
As a non-diet professional, your skills wouldn’t be complete without a tool you can use to help your clients to heal their relationship with their body image.
Body Neutrality is the framework I have selected to teach in our program. It helps women understand that we aren’t defined by own physical bodies. This body image professional training goal is to respect and accept your body for what it is – and that’s it.
Non-Diet Business Coaching
Shifting your business to an anti-diet business model requires some small business adjustment mainly in the content of your professional services, health programs, and marketing.
Your intuitive eating business skills will require you to move to a serving message from selling messages. Your future client or patient will need to be educated about what is a non-diet and weight-neutral approach to health.
The 5-step process to build a successful Anti-Diet Business
1. Determine the non-diet business format that will support your personal goals
2. Define & refine your ideal clients and their needs
3. Create a non-diet service offer.
4. Market your offer or product using our exclusive non-diet transformation funnel system.
5. Deliver your product.
Bonus – Scale & Diversify
How to Get Started
We have created for you a number of free intuitive eating mentorship training resources to help you begin your research in the field of non-diet approach to health.
You can access this non-diet professional training by clicking here.
You will find non-diet online training, webinars, podcasts, and articles.
One last thing
Here’s the truth: As long as you teach any labelled diet (Keto, paleo, GF, DF, ….) and or handout food list and meal plan, you aren’t teaching sustainable health or nutrition. Point.
If the above is you, just about now you’re likely pissed at me. That’s ok sister! I get it. I was on the receiving end of this exact discourse about 4 years ago and I was mad but it planted a seed in my mind… and here I’m today!
It’s not your fault. As far as I know, today…no nutrition school or health coaching program currently offers Intuitive eating as part of their curriculum. So how were you supposed to know??
But now you know…. So, what will you do? Continue to arm people teaching diets or learn intuitive eating for yourself and slowly, gradually integrate it in your practice and help your client real sustainable changes.
It’s your choice. If you choose to opt-out of diet culture, we can help you in your journey.
We do not know what we do not know.
Most nutrition experts engage in disordered eating.
Individuals that develop disordered eating may at first initiate a quest for a healthier lifestyle but then dysfunctional, compulsive beliefs about food emerge that then impair health, work, and social functioning. If you are curious to know if have a disordered relationship to food then you should complete our free professional intuitive eating intake forms. Assess yourself and share your results with us!
Intuitive Eating Coaching
All women that come to intuitive eating coaching have failed… failed at many diets.
I love when women’s diets do not go according to plan… I get really excited because I know they are on the brink of huge transformation.That’s when you are forced to make a choice… stay in your comfort zone repeating your old patterns to jump on the next “new” diet…OR move forward past your dieting comfort zone and towards something different.
That’s when I come in… helping you feel the fear of trying something different and still move forward with courage.
What is intuitive eating coaching?
How do you teach intuitive eating?
Can intuitive eating really work?
What is intuitive eating?
Intuitive eating is a proven and well-researched self-care eating framework that teaches us to have a healthy relationship to food, empowering you to trust your ability to meet your needs, distinguish between physical and emotional hunger and ultimately develop body wisdom.
The intuitive eating definition is a framework to recover from years of chronic dieting and diet culture. And it’s focus is on rebuilding a relationship of trust and respect towards your body while supporting your health and happiness.
Our unique approach, The Going Beyond The Food Method uses the frameworks of body neutrality alongside to intuitive eating and cognitive behavioral coaching. We integrate body image coaching along with intuitive eating specifically body neutrality has a a focus to avoid self-hate while simultaneously relieving you from the pressure of having to love your body. I shared the foundation of this approach since 2016 in my intuitive eating podcast, “The Going Beyond Food Show”
What is intuitive eating coaching?
That’s when me and my team comes in.
Over the last 8 years I have created the Going Beyond The Food Method, created and develop the curriculum of Undiet Your Life Coaching Program. Over in the last 3 years I focus my work on creating The Non-Diet Coaching Certification a program uniquely developed to train health professionals in the Going Beyond The Food Method. A number of graduates from the Non-Diet Coaching Certification are part of my coaching team at Beyond The Food along side with me as the lead Certified Non-Diet Coach.
As your partner, your Certified Non-Diet Coach a non-diet coach will support you in understanding and removing what is in the way of you becoming an intuitive eater. And what is in the way of your life without food and weight obsession Beyond The Food.
Your Non-Diet Certified Coach will challenge you to say “no” to going through the old patterns and enthusiastically say “yes” to the possibilities that are available to you with intuitive eating and body neutrality.
The journey of intuitive eating coaching
The journey begin by taking an overview of your life and dieting history and identifying areas that need action and/or attention. Then your Certified Non-Diet Coach will complete a series of assessment on your eating habits, body image and mindset.
Then you Certified Non-Diet Coach will assist you in establishing clear, concrete, measurable goals and support you in deploying a plan to achieve these goals. There is no old habits, patterns you cannot shift when coached by a professional coach. You are capable of so much more than you know or are currently creating.
At Beyond The Food we do not believe there is a one-size-fits-all approach when it comes to 1-on-1 coaching. We create a unique strategy for you, individualized based on your past, specific needs and goals. Your Certified Non-Diet Coach responsibility is to guide you and supporting into solving the roadblock as they come along the path to your goals and keep your moving forward when you want to quit.
We listen with understanding and 100% confidentiality. Our relationships with my clients are intimate, honest, and rewarding. As we move closer to your goals being acheive the relationship with your coach will naturally evolve in a way that best supports you.
How do you teach intuitive eating?
Our work together is organized following my proprietary methodology The Going Beyond The Food Method™️. As an intuitive eating coaches, the outcome of our work together is a neutral relationship of trust and respect towards your body and its innate wisdom.
Our approach is unique for many reasons. We teach intuitive eating & body neutrality through the lenses of a lived experience combined with a holistic and science-based lens.
If you’d like to get a sense of my journey, as the founder of Beyond The Food Method read this article I wrote: Intuitive eating before and after: my story.
Can intuitive eating really work?
Here’s the most fascinating aspect of intuitive eating and body neutrality, it’s that you can’t fail. You can’t fail because it’s not a diet! And because I’m confident in myself and not afraid to sign my own praise… here’s why women love my coaching:
“This experience was life-changing and worth every penny!”
So first thing, know that I’m sharing my experience being an executive coach myself… and I’ve worked with dozens of global coaches personally and professionally. Coaching with Stephanie was life-changing forever and worth every penny you’ll put into it. – Anna Buber Farovich
“My work with Stephanie led me through a massive transformation!”
Stephanie is kind, inspiring and her knowledge and experiences helped me to sort out some issues I was not sure about and led me through a massive transformation both personally and in my business.- Hanka Valaskova
“Stephanie has really changed my life. I’ll never go back to the way it was…”
I’m in the Board of Directors and have a very busy lifestyle, but Stephanie’s coaching on perspective on life, lifestyle and dealing with our food issues has really changed my life. I don’t think I’ll ever go back to the way it was.–Eithne Wait
You can access more videos, audio and written testimonials here.
How do I get started?
You can access all of our services on our work with us page. We have a number of programs and service levels enabling us to serve most women:
Free Resources and Masterclasses: Get started and get to know us better!
Private coaching with Stephanie and her team Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches are waiting to support you in a one-to-one setting with an individualized plan.
Undiet Your Life group coaching program is for women to learn how to eat intuitively, become body neutral, and learn self-coaching at their own pace while being supported in a group setting by Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches.
Non-Diet Coaching Certification for professionals ready to integrate the Going Beyond The Food Method™️ in their practice and for women wanting to become Certified Coach and build a business coaching other women beyond the food.
How can I know if I’m the right fit for intuitive eating coaching?
If you’ve been on and off diets for longer than you like to admit, think your life will start when you finally lose the weight, while you eat emotionally, binge and hate your body: This is for you!
I had the opportunity to coach Ashley Dorough from The House of Dorough in the context of her blog and she filmed part of our session. I would encourage you to listen to the part of her first session. If you’d like to see more videos visit her IGTV account.
Part 1 – Is this your story too? -Click to watch
Part 2 – Why it’s beyond
I’m really busy now how will I find the time?
Well, that’s part of the journey. Discovering what is holding us back from having the time to take care of ourselves. The truth is, there’s never going to be enough time. Diet brain keeps you stuck in your patterns and cycle because you are waiting for the right time when you can do it all perfectly.
Listen to Ashley describe her self-care story… and my coaching.
Will I lose weight during the intuitive eating coaching process?
Well, that’s part of the journey. Discovering what is holding us back from having the time to take care of ourselves. The truth is, there’s never going to be enough time. Diet brain keeps you stuck in your patterns and cycle because you are waiting for the right time when you can do it all perfectly.
Listen to Ashley describe her self-care story… and my coaching.
Will I lose weight during the intuitive eating coaching process?
First, know that it’s completely normal for you to want to lose weight. We live in a society that is filled with weight stigma and thin ideal. That’s diet culture. Intuitive eating and body neutrality goal aren’t to help you lose weight. If you are focused on weight loss, it will actually undermine the process. While some people lose weight, others don’t. Our journey together is not about weight loss.
Listen to Ashley asking me “Is it ok if I want to lose weight?” … and my coaching.
If would like to access more science-based information on this topic visit these 2 articles on my intuitive eating blog: Health beyond dieting and Intuitive eating & BMI.
I have tried so many diets will intuitive eating coaching work?
Good news, it’s not a diet. Diets have a 91-95% failure rate on 3-5 years’ timeframe so no surprise it didn’t for you either. Dieting leads to weight gain. This process is completely different from dieting because the goal is not weight loss, it’s about learning to appreciate our body and rebuild a relationship of trust and respect with ourselves and our body.
Listen to Ashley and me answering the question “If it’s not about weight loss then what is it about?”
Why can I just do one session with you?
How long did it take you to get here? 1 hr or 10, 20, 30 years? I know for me it took 25 years and hoping to undo it all in 1 hour kept me stuck. The fear of commitment is in part the way in which your Diet brain operates to keep you stuck. Committing your time, energy and resources, your own transformation is part of the learning. If this is too much for you now, consider the environment of intuitive eating group coaching where we use the same methodology but no direct interaction with me.
What is Diet Culture and 4 Steps to Navigate It
If you’ve been following me on social media or reading my blog, you certainly have come across the term “diet culture.” I’ve mentioned it many times before. But what is diet culture? How does it impact your life? And what should you do about it?
This article tackles this topic and teaches you how to opt-out of it. Also, I offer some resources that will help you start a new life outside of this oppressive belief system. Here’s what you’re going to learn from this blog post:
How to navigate the diet culture
Diet culture educational resources
Now, let’s begin exploring the diet culture so you can take your first steps to freedom!
What is diet culture?
From the sound of it, you might think the term “diet culture” refers to a group of people who are on a diet. But it actually has a different meaning.
Christy Harrison, a colleague of mine, has the best diet culture definition. She defines it as a system of belief that worships thinness and equates it to health and moral virtue. It’s now prevalent in our society and oppresses women from all over the world!
How does this impact your life?
This means you may have spent your entire life thinking that you’re broken just because you don’t look like the impossibly thin ideal.
That’s just one angle. You can also look at the diet culture from three other angles:
The second angle is that it promotes weight loss as a means of attaining higher status. It makes you feel compelled, almost obligated, to spend massive amounts of time, energy, and resources, trying to shrink your body so you can fit into this thin ideal. Now, research is very clear that the dieting model has a 95 percent failure rate, so it might as well be an exercise in futility.
The next angle is it demonizes certain ways of eating while elevating others. It forces you to be hyper-vigilant about your eating, shames you for making certain food choices, and distracts you from the pleasure of eating as well as from your purpose and power.
Last but not least, it oppresses people who don’t match the supposed picture of health or the thin ideal. This affects us most particularly as women, although it’s starting to affect men.
My 25-year journey inside diet culture
As you probably know, I used to have a love-hate relationship with food and my body. A 25-year career in dieting left me obsessed, frustrated and confused about food. I was also at a loss on how to take care of my body.
Dieting was stealing my life and at 39. Then I decided that I had enough… I finally chose to take my power back and free myself from dieting and body shaming. The Going Beyond The Food Method™️ was born out of my personal journey.
Now, as a health professional, I’ve helped hundreds of women work their way out of this oppressive culture and develop a healthier relationship with food using intuitive eating and body neutrality.
Is diet culture affecting you, too? I invite you to consider its impact on your life. Take our quick self-assessment tool we created to help women determine if intuitive eating is the right solution for them.
How to navigate the diet culture
I invite you, and honestly all women, to become diet culture dropouts! Below are the four steps you need to take in your journey towards freedom:
Understand that you have a choice.
Now is the best time to be a woman. Unlike the generations before us, we’re liberated and empowered! You have to understand that diet culture is a tool that the patriarchy uses to keep us from being in our power. It keeps us busy minding our calories and macros. It induces guilt and so we feel inclined to punish ourselves when we fail.
Whether you want to stay in the diet culture and be oppressed or to break away from it and change your life, it’s totally up to you. But you should know that you have the power to make that choice.
Take responsibility.
With great power comes great responsibility. Now, that sounds like a quote from a Spiderman movie, but as an empowered woman, you are responsible for your life. No one else is!
Now, you can be the victim of diet culture and drown yourself in self-pity and helplessness. Or you can say, “Screw this! I’m going to take responsibility, and I’m going to work myself out of it and change my life.”
It’s your call.
Educate yourself.
Read books and blogs. Listen to podcasts. Consume content that supports the choice that you’ve made for yourself. Be on guard against the content that might suck you right back into the diet culture. As I’ve said before, beware of diet culture programs disguised as wellness practices.
I’ve made it my personal mission to empower women by educating them so they don’t allow themselves to be oppressed. And so, I have put together some resources for you.
We have anti-diet culture podcast episodes on the Going Beyond the Food Show, where I interview health professionals. I invite you to listen as they share their expert insights and opinions on our relationship with our bodies and with food.
You can also read our anti-diet culture blog posts on this website. Here, we go deep into the research and the studies around diet culture as well as dieting and its impact on health.
If you’re looking for an anti-diet culture book, I recommend Health At Every Size by Linda Bacon, PhD. Dr. Bacon does research around health and dieting. It’s a book that gave me a lot of “aha moments” and subsequently changed my life.
Find a framework to help you reconstruct your relationship with food and with your body.
You’re going to shift from the way of life that diet culture has taught you to a more empowering way of thinking and doing things. This means there’s a lot for you to unlearn and relearn, so you’re going to need all the support you can get.
The Going Beyond The Food Method™️ is a 5-step strategic process to help women move out of diet mentality and into self-care. Our 5 pillars are: mindset, emotional wellness, mindfulness, body neutrality and intuitive eating.
Diet culture educational resources
As a clinical nutritionist, I’ve found that intuitive eating is the most effective tool for developing a healthy relationship with food and your body. Intuitive eating teaches you to tap into your innate hunger and fullness cues. It requires you to relearn how to engage with food without restriction and without labeling food as “good” or “bad.”
The trauma around body image is more powerful than the one around food. What I have found over the years is that when we work through our relationship with food, it’s a lot easier and faster to heal body image issues.
We offer a variety of programs that will help you should you decide to opt-out of diet culture:
You can access all of our services on our work with us page. We have a number of programs and service levels enabling us to serve most women:
Free Resources and Masterclasses: Get started and get to know us better!
Private coaching with Stephanie and her team Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches are waiting to support you in a one-to-one setting with an individualized plan.
Undiet Your Life group coaching program is for women to learn how to eat intuitively, become body neutral, and learn self-coaching at their own pace while being supported in a group setting by Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches.
Non-Diet Coaching Certification for professionals ready to integrate the Going Beyond The Food Method™️ in their practice and for women wanting to become Certified Coach and build a business coaching other women beyond the food.
Women Food and Power
A short essay sharing how I claim my power back….my story to live a powerful life that I love through food and body image.
My life was pretty good: I had food on the table, a home, a car, a great career that brought in enough money, cool friends, a supportive family.
I thought of myself as an independent fierce woman.
But I also wondered, “… is that what life is really about?”
While by society standards I was doing all the right things I kept, wondering if every other woman was as anxious as I was about how I looked. Were they as overwhelmed as me at the thought of not losing or worse gaining weight? Is it normal to feel this frustrated with food and not being able to eat like everyone else?
Everyone around me reflected that it was all ok, but secretly, I knew something wasn’t right. So, I kept going making sure I was checking all the boxes:
My partner: Making sure he was happy, satisfied, that he felt loved.
The boss: I was delivering the results expected.
Social circle: Making sure I was there for them and was pleasant.
My parents: Striving to be #1, working hard and making money to ensure my safety.
Society: being a good girl and kept striving for the female beauty standards of thinness
And then the forties came along
It wasn’t one thing one moment… one day. It was a series of little things that collectively lead me to realize I was living the illusion of a happy life based on others’ beliefs.
That’s why I was eating…
I was years in the making. In fact, I was a pretty smart child and wasn’t afraid of speaking my mind. I played with boys as much as I played with girls. Certainly, a tough little girl.
But at 13, the society led me to believe that I was too much. Too tall. Too big. That if I wanted to be a good girl from now on, I needed to be less. Smaller. Thinner and also quieter. To achieve this goal of being a good little girl, food was going to be the weapon of choice. Over the next few years, I learned to diet and that shrinking my body was the gateway for me to manage my “too muchness”.
By the end of my teenage years, I learned that my power was food because I was so into diet culture. I learned that for society to accept women, she must conform to its standards. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with a body & spirit that naturally conform to the norm so I accepted that I would need to work hard at fitting in for the rest of my life.
That’s exactly what I did for nearly 27 years until my forties came along. I started to read self-improvement books and questioning the beauty ideal imposed on women.
Women Food and Power: My journey
Up to then, my power was food (and the attempted control of weight) all to fulfill the illusion that being smaller would deliver better. I thought if I couldn’t control my height at least I could control my weight.
It turns out that controlling my weight wasn’t an easy task. It worked and then it didn’t but I learned quickly to be a “good fat person” by at least trying to lose weight and making sure everyone knew I was trying hard. That’s when I started to eat in secret.
By the time I hit my mid-twenties, I had a strong coping mechanism in place to cope with my inability to conform to what my body should look like.
- People-pleasing: I sought external validation so I made sure I wasn’t rejected
- All or nothing: On and off the diet. It’s my fault it doesn’t work so try harder
- Perfectionism: To compensate my “not enoughness” and “too muchness”, I needed to strive to achieve everything perfectly
- Mental filtering: Life is about controlling my body, therefore, my food.
That’s what I call today Diet Brain. Diet brain was the way my subconscious mind evolved to cope with the world that I felt rejected me and my body.
But something happened in my late thirties. I had this resounding secret thought “I can’t do it anymore”. I felt exhausted and the excitement of the latest diet has vanished. Soon enough, my body followed suit and wouldn’t cooperate anymore. I was anxious, depressed, and sick.
I couldn’t imagine that the rest of my life was going to be just another “diet”. Is that what life was about? Really just managing my weight?
I was born worthy
The truth was that my life focus had been on chasing my self-worth. I was failing at the task but always trying and I was failing because self-worth was never going to come from being smaller.
I was born worthy but somewhere along the line of my life, someone or something led me to believe that I needed to earn my worth through my body size.
Although I had chased my self-worth for over 27 years through my body size and had yet to find it, I never questioned this belief. The indoctrination from diet culture early on in my life was still creating my reality today at 40. That’s the magic of the subconscious mind.
That is until I started to question my beliefs. Could I be enough without being in a smaller body? Is it possible to be loved and supported without being smaller? Could I be successful without being quieter?
I always had a choice
Yes: It was a possibility. I could be loved, supported, and accepted at any size.
I started to notice women in my life that were “enough” without being smaller. Women who were successful, happy, and confident in non-conforming bodies. Women whose power wasn’t wrapped around food. New people came into my life reinforcing the possibility. Books, blogs, videos… over months I had plenty of evidence.
Yet I was still stuck. I had made different choices. By then I knew it wasn’t my fault that I was the way I was but it was my fault if I stayed like that.
I needed to go from wanting to change to deciding to change. The problem was I was afraid. Scared of the perceived work it takes to change. I didn’t have time. I didn’t have the resources…
The pain of doing the work appeared to be greater than the pain of staying in the “not enough”. So, I chose to stay put. I kept lurking on what was possible.
I had so many stories in my head that keep me from not making the choice to change. Let’s face it, when it came to my ability to change my subconscious mind was telling me: “You are a failure” or “ You’ll never be able to do it” or “Why would this be any different than your attempt to manage your weight?”.
My subconscious mind was on a mission to keep me safe and secure in my comfort zone. Not believing in myself was my comfort zone. I wasn’t worthy enough to believe in myself.
What if you couldn’t fail?
I believe in paying to be held at a higher standard that I can conceive for myself. So, I committed myself to have someone show me the way.
The greatest achievements I had in my life up to this point came from being taught by a great teacher or coach: sport, business, and adulting. I knew that if I was going to make it happen it was not going to be on my own…
“What if you couldn’t fail, Stephanie?” she asked.
In every other part of my life, failure was not an issue… would have learned from my mistake and tried again. Likely tried something different but nevertheless, failure wasn’t fear.
Why wasn’t it different from food and weight? I don’t have the answer just yet but it was. I think it’s because I had so many traumatic experiences in that sphere of my life that fear of failure paralyzed me.
“You are wildly capable, Stephanie. Look at yourself, you have dieted for 25 years, starving yourself, depriving yourself, overworking your physical body… you’ve done it all! You are so capable to do the work and make peace with food & your body so you can reconnect with your innate power!”
So, I got over myself and went for it.
Women Food and Power: The tools I found
I learned to think thoughts that actually made me feel good and learn tools to release thoughts that didn’t serve me. I learned to manage my emotions, process them productively instead of being overwhelmed by them. I now decide what stories play in my head.
At the same time, I learned to be present in my body not to what others think of my body. I’m present in the moment in my body. I’m no longer afraid of being with myself.
I learned to interact with my body as my best friend and be neutral. My physical body no longer is the filter through which I see my life. That’s body neutrality.
Lastly, I learned that I had the power within me to feed myself. My body and I are “good enough” to be our own nutrition expert. That was a turning point for me… through intuitive eating, I shifted the relationship of power with food.
Food was no longer about being less… food was about being ME.
That was the work and I did it.
Empowering yourself
How you engage with food is how you engage with your life. If you feel powerless around food you feel powerless with your life.
How you think about our body is how you think about yourself. When you hate your body, you hate yourself.
There’s a basic formula for life: Our thoughts create the way we feel, our feelings drive the action we choose to take, our actions forge our results, therefore, our thoughts become our reality.
If right now you think you aren’t good and/or worthy enough to have what other women have, that’s exactly the reality you’ll keep creating for yourself.
The most effective way to feel disempowered is to give your power of choice to something else, someone else than you. That’s what millions of us, women do when we decide to buy into the beauty ideal consequently, diet culture. The path of less resistance is to conform not to question.
Being empowered is recognizing that you do have the power to affect your life. It’s simply recognizing that you have the power to choose.
On the other side of fear is freedom.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” -Anais Nin
Let’s do it together
You can access all of our services on our work with us page. We have a number of programs and service levels enabling us to serve most women:
Free Resources and Masterclasses: Get started and get to know us better!
Private coaching with Stephanie and her team Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches are waiting to support you in a one-to-one setting with an individualized plan.
Undiet Your Life group coaching program is for women to learn how to eat intuitively, become body neutral, and learn self-coaching at their own pace while being supported in a group setting by Stephanie and her team of Certified Non-Diet Coaches.
Non-Diet Coaching Certification for professionals ready to integrate the Going Beyond The Food Method™️ in their practice and for women wanting to become Certified Coach and build a business coaching other women beyond the food.
Good Money Business Mastermind A business mentorship and a collective of ambitious, driven and empowered anti-diet culture providers and coaches on a mission to dismantle diet culture and make GOOD money doing it!
Self-Coaching for Intuitive Eating
Have you ever wondered about self-coaching for intuitive eating and asked, “Can I be successful with intuitive eating on my own?”
After all, intuitive eating is meant to empower you to be the expert of your own body and make you the boss of YOU.
However, just as there are diet coaches, there are also intuitive eating coaches. But do you need them? And what’s self-coaching anyway? If you are your own coach, does that mean you don’t need a coach at all?
These are the questions that I aim to answer in this article. I also hope to help you understand what coaching is, especially in relation to self-coaching. Last but not least, I want to show you what the self-coaching model looks like and how it can help you change your thoughts and your behavior.
But first, let me discuss what intuitive eating is, just to make sure you understand the concept before we move on to self-coaching.
What is Intuitive Eating?
This is the intuitive eating definition I usually give whenever I’m asked about the concept: “A self-care framework that uses your body’s internal cues of hunger, fullness, and satisfaction to guide your eating behavior.”
Eating intuitively teaches you to trust your own ability to meet your own needs. It’s an empowering alternative to dieting. It requires you to be attuned to your body’s cues.
You can learn more about eating intuitively by listening to my intuitive eating podcast episodes.
Now, let’s explore self-coaching.
What is Self-Coaching?
Coaching is identified as the process of supporting a person towards a goal. It’s a form of development that leads people from where they are to where they want to be.
Typically, in a coaching relationship, there’s a coach, who does the coaching, and a coachee, who is the learner or the client.
Self-coaching is when you become your own coach. You are both the coach and the coachee. The idea may sound a little strange to you, but yes, you can coach yourself. You have an innate wisdom that knows what’s best for you and enables you to become the expert of your own life.
Coaching Versus Training: What’s the Difference?
Some people use the terms “coaching” and “training” interchangeably, but actually, they’re two different things. Training is focused on learning and acquiring knowledge. It’s usually formal.
On the other hand, coaching is focused on developing the skill set to apply the knowledge learned. It’s often informal, discussion-based, and experiential.
The History of Self-Coaching
The first use of the term “coach” in connection with an instructor or trainer was in the 1830’s at the Oxford University. The term is slang for a tutor who “carried” a student through an exam. In the 1860’s, the term was used in sports to refer to an athletic trainer or instructor.
With the advent of the human potential movement in the 1960’s, the term came to refer to mentors, especially in executive development in the corporate world. Today, there are coaches in different areas of life–life coach, coach for binge eating, fertility coach, etc.
Self-coaching came to the world’s awareness about 20 years ago. Dr. Joseph Luciani is the leader in the field of self-coaching. He wrote four books on the subject, including The Power of Self-Coaching. This book is a must-read for those who want to understand the science behind coaching and self-coaching.
Coaching Versus Self-Coaching
In a coaching relationship, both the coach and the coachee establish goals centered around what the coachee wants to achieve. The coachee commits to taking action towards improvement. On the other hand, the coach brings guidance, support, tools, resources, framework, and a step-by-step action plan to help the coachee achieve the goals they set together.
On the other hand, self-coaching is tapping into your innate wisdom to make the best decisions certain areas of your life. It’s the same inner wisdom that guides you when you practice intuitive eating.
Intuitive eating is the process of learning to self-coach yourself around food.
So which one is better for you—coaching or self-coaching?
Having a coach is always better. A coach helps you build confidence and maintain momentum. You’ll know where to focus and you’ll never feel lost and overwhelmed because there’s someone guiding you.
Most importantly, a coach will help you see your blind spots, the patterns you aren’t aware of yet, so you’ll know why things haven’t worked out in your own.
But what do scientific researchers say about self-coaching?
Research on Self-Coaching
If you’re torn between self-coaching and coaching, you may want to know what scientific researchers say about the different types of coaching.
Researchers from different universities in Austria and Italy conducted a study on individual, group, and self-coaching. They found individual coaching to be the most effective type of coaching.
On the other hand, research on self-coaching reveals that it is not as effective as the other two types of coaching.
However, this doesn’t mean that self-coaching is useless or that it doesn’t work.
The best thing you can do is start with a coach who will guide your first steps towards your goal and teach you to be independent. A good coach will equip you with everything you need to learn so you can later transition to self-coaching.
How to Do Self-Coaching for Intuitive Eating
As I just said earlier, you can either hire a coach or you can do self-coaching. If you choose to strike out on your own with intuitive eating, here are the steps you need to follow. This is self-coaching 101 for intuitive eating. Follow these and you’ll get a good head start:
Step 1: Find out whether intuitive eating is right for you.
Step 2: Determine whether self-coaching works for you.
Step 3: Understand how your brain functions.
Step 4: Be aware of your thoughts.
Step 5: Pick one thought and investigate it.
Step 6: Replace the thought that is not serving you with an empowering one.
Step 7: Coach yourself by reinforcing the new thought.
These steps are discussed in greater detail in the following paragraphs. If you want to focus on a particular step, you can simply click the corresponding link above.
Step 1: Find out whether intuitive eating is right for you.
To help you with that, I have created a starter kit of self-assessment for eating, body image and mindset. Download the free non-diet assessment kit and complete the eating assessment. These are actually the same assessment I use with my private clients!
So go ahead and take the test.
Step 2: Determine whether self-coaching works for you.
In the free starter kit of Non-Diet Assessments there is a second evaluation for your mindset. Take it to determine your current mindset state and if self-coaching can be of support to you.
Step 3: Understand how your brain functions.
The self-coaching model is based on the CBT framework. CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) is a type of psychotherapy that aims to change negative patterns of thinking and behavior. This framework gives us a window into how the brain works.
Here’s a graphic that shows the self-coaching model:
At the very top, you’ll see circumstance. This is an event that acts as a trigger, something that happens in your life that causes you to have thoughts and emotions that influence your behavior.
The image that you see goes through your brain and into a filter called perspective. Your perspective towards body image is shaped by your beliefs, assumptions, and past experiences.
After your brain goes through this filter, it creates a thought. Then, these thoughts create emotions. Your emotions influence your actions. Finally, your actions create a result.
When you understand how the brain works, you can use this to your advantage and influence the whole process to get the results you want. This is why understanding how your brain works is crucial in self-coaching.
Step 4: Be aware of your thoughts.
Kara Loewentheil, my mentor and the author of Unfuck Your Brain, once said, “Awareness precedes change.” So if you want to change your thoughts, you must first be aware of them.
Here’s an exercise that will help you become aware of the thoughts that influence your actions:
Grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write down your thoughts that you’re currently having around eating and/or body image.
Now, this is important: Write these thoughts down without judging them. Be in the “observer mode.” Just dump these thoughts onto a piece of paper as they come.
Step 5: Pick one thought and investigate it.
After writing down your thoughts, look for the one that comes up frequently (perhaps a recurring theme) or the one that’s most painful.
Take that thought and put it through the self-coaching model. What were the circumstances that trigger this thought? What emotions come up when this thought enters your mind? How does this thought influence your actions? What results do these actions create?
Investigating your thoughts will help you fully see the impact of your thoughts in your life. Some people skip this part, which is why they fail at self-coaching. They jump from being aware of a negative thought to changing the thought outright.
This step is essential. DO NOT skip it.
Step 6: Replace the thought that is not serving you with an empowering one.
Now that you’ve investigated the thought that has been responsible for the results that you don’t want, it’s time to replace that thought with one that empowers you.
In the previous step, you saw how your old thought led you to the results that you didn’t like by putting it through the self-coaching model. This time, you will create a new, empowering thought by applying the same model you used to investigate the old thought.
In a nutshell, this is how you do it: Create an empowering thought that generates the emotion that drives the actions needed to produce the results you want.
Step 7: Coach yourself by reinforcing the new thought.
You now know how you need to think and what you want to think. It’s your job to go and repeat that thought many times every single day. You can get creative by making a poster that reminds you of that new thought. Or you can scribble the thought on a Post-It and stick it where you’re likely to see it often.
Now, reinforcing a new thought in order to change results isn’t as easy as it sounds. It will require patience and practice. You also need to keep the motivation and momentum going, especially when you must take action. Setbacks will be inevitable, but look at them as learning opportunities rather than failures.
In the end, the benefits you reap will be well worth your patience and effort. So, keep at it!
Need support to learn self-coaching?
If you’re looking for an program to help you learn self-coaching we offer two different option: Beyond Mindset is short term program specifically focussed on teaching self-coaching.
Undiet Your Life Program is our signature intuitive eating coaching program that teaches you self-coaching techniques, along with intuitive eating and body neutrality. It also aims to equip you for self-coaching for your entire life.
Intuitive Eating and Body Image… FOR KIDS!
The foundational information you need to teach your children how to be competent eaters – with the ability to manage food, weight, & health successfully for the rest of their lives.
Majority of the women in my community share my story of being introduced to the world of dieting at an early age. And for years we believed that it’s the way to go to control our eating and improve our body image. Until such time we finally realized that diet doesn’t work. It’s just a band-aid solution to something that needs a permanent solution. We don’t want to pass this kind of relationship to food to our children. We don’t them to live their whole lives restricting, which actually brings about more craving. Instead, we want them to practice intuitive eating and learn to be competent eaters as they grow up.
But how do you raise your kids to become competent eaters and body confident? No need to Google the answer because I have the best suggestion for you.
Intuitive Eating and Body Image… FOR KIDS!
My friend and colleague, Dr. Jillian Murphy, ND, creator of The Food Freedom/Body Love Method for women, is sharing with us her 5-part podcast series on Intuitive Eating and Body Image FOR KIDS!
Recently, I interviewed Dr. Jillian on our podcast, The Going Beyond The Food Show. We covered the basics of integration of intuitive eating in a family setting. I’d suggest listening to this interview first then moving on to the specialized series below.
In this podcast series, Jill will acquaint you with the concept of Intuitive Eating for kids. She’ll introduce the Ellyn Satter Feeding Competency Model and address common misconceptions, objections, and mistakes made when implementing this model.
Here’s an overview of the podcast episodes:
- EPISODE 1: Competent Eaters. The skills and structure you need to raise competent eaters. We’ll discuss Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility, why we want to raise competent (not healthy!) eaters, and the research on long term outcomes with regards to food management, weight, and health. This is the foundational theory you’ll need to move forward.
- EPISODE 2: Obstacles, Resistance & Nutrition: What about picky eaters? Compulsive eaters? WHAT ABOUT HEALTH?! We’ll trouble shoot common parental worries and discuss why HOW you feed your children is ultimately more important than WHAT you feed them.
- EPISODE 3: Understand Appetite, Weight, and How to Help your Child Without Harming. This is a BIG one. The majority of methods for helping children “manage their weight” actually backfire – resulting in children with more food issues, body image issues, and higher weights. So what to do? How can we help our children without interfering with their normal physiological processes?
- EPISODE 4: Body Talk. Learn how to talk to your children about their bodies, other bodies, and foster a sense of body confidence in your children – even while living in a thin-is-best, diet culture!
- EPISODE 5: Permission & Discipline. The key concepts you need to master in order to feed your healthy family and raise body confident, competent eaters. Here we take the theory and turn it into practical strategies you can get started with today!
Teach your Kids NOW!
Dr. Jillian Murphy is one of the Naturopathic doctors I know who shares my passion in teaching women to have a healthy relationship with food. Using a combination of research and clinical experience, she was able to discuss how parents can help their kids. Particularly, to develop intuitive eating and a positive self-body image, which they will carry until they grow up.
I highly recommend that you listen to Intuitive Eating and Body Image FOR KIDS! So, start NOW and teach your kids to become competent eaters with this 5-part podcast series.
Welcome!
I’m Stephanie Dodier
Non-Diet Nutritionist & Coach
I teach and coach women how to break free from the socialized thinking of diet culture and liberate yourself from unrelenting pressure to be thinner so that you can eat in a way that truly supports your well-being and start living the life you’ll look back on with no regrets.
Join me in leading the feminist health coaching revolution!
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