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I came back from California and posted a quick video in my community to get some inspiration on what this podcast was going to be about. I wanted to know what you needed….
This is what came through from a member:
“I have a fear of succeeding in weight loss. Like people will treat me differently as I lose weight. They will expect even more perfection from me.”
First I have to say to you, putting that question forward, you have a high level of self-awareness, which is amazing and will bring you so close to the solution.
For most of us, when we embark the weight loss journey, we aren’t self aware because we have disconnected ourselves from our body. What I mean by disconnecting is that we no longer want to be in our body. We don’t feel the sensation in our body because we don’t like our body and reject it. And so we close off to listening to our body. We don’t care for our physical body. We’re not eating well, not moving, not managing our stress, etc… We disconnect.
It’s very hard to be self aware of our own SELVES when we are not in present with ourselves, mind and body.
Symptoms of “Fear of Success”
For most women, fear of success is not even something that they are aware of. It’s a subconscious thought or reaction. It’s not present in their realm of knowledge.
They make choices that will lead them to failure without even knowing that they are making these choices because they’re afraid of being successful. That’s true for most people. In fact, if you ask anyone around you in the process of making changes in their lives, if they are afraid of success, they will say NO, emphatically say NO, because being afraid of success goes against logic.
So what does fear of success in weight loss look like?
- What if I change my habits and it doesn’t work? Or what if I don’t get the results that I want? What will my friends and family think of me?
- I have been down this path before and I wasn’t able to do it all the way. Why would things be any different this time?
- I lost weight before and wasn’t able to keep it off.
- If I don’t have my weight to hide behind anymore, will I need to show up? I won’t have any excuse anymore. Just like our community members… they will expect even more from me.
- I have been overweight all of my adult life…I don’t know how to be anyone else.
- People won’t like me as much… they will feel I’m in competition with them.
Does this sound familiar?
Self Awareness: The First Step in Quitting the Fear of Success
The first step to overcome the fear of failure is being aware that we are in fact in a “fear of success mode”. Self-awareness 101. Be present with your thoughts.
When you make a choice that isn’t in alignment with your goals… stop for a moment. Then ask yourself: Why am I making this choice that isn’t in alignment with my goals? What is driving this choice? Take a moment to reflect and observe your thoughts. This is hard to do when you aren’t used to it. It’s difficult because reflecting on our choices will bring us to a space of self-responsibility and self-awareness, and that’s not comfortable at first.
Through your reflection and self-awareness, is it possible that you are fearing success? Are you showing any of the symptoms that I have outlined above? If you answer if maybe or yes … there you have it. Now you know. It’s only fear of success.
Fear of Success is OK!
Fear of success is OK. It’s normal. Success means jumping into the unknown — a new area, a new state of being, a new relationship, a new income… a new body image. Success means getting out of your comfort zone into a new zone…” the uncomfortable zone”. It’s normal to feel insecure about this process… especially if this is not something you are used to doing.
Fear is a primitive reaction from your subconscious mind when face with change. Your subconscious mind is simply trying to protect you. Your subconscious mind wants to keep you where it can best protect you, where it knows how everything works, and where it thinks you are safe.
When you’re aware of this primitive behavior, you can best manage fear, anxiety, and worry. Know that it is normal and that you can choose to move forward and up anyway.
Know that success will ONLY come to you if you move out of your comfort zone. You’ve got to move up to be successful, girl!
Going Beyond the Food Formula
Understand: Be aware of the choices that aren’t aligned with your goals. Ask yourself why you are making these choices.
Accept: That you fear success and that it is a normal reaction to moving out of your comfort zone, which is necessary for your to achieve a different state (aka goals)
Take responsibility: When you feel the fear and the anxiety, acknowledge these feelings and move forward and up knowing that this is not a true fear.
The last episode, I had an insightful interview with Ella from the On Air with Ella podcast. We talked about overcoming the impostor syndrome and building self-confidence. I highly recommend this episode! You can listen to it here.
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Links mentioned in this episode:
Safe Skincare-Beauty Counter collective: https://www.stephaniedodier.com/safeskincare/
The Crave Cure: https://stephaniedodier.com/cravecure
Beyond The Food Community: https://www.stephaniedodier.com/community
Support me by leaving a review about this episode: http://bit.ly/2gilTsw
How you can reach Stephanie:
Got a question for Stephanie you’d like her to answer about the fear of success, or just want to join our community of women?
Our free and private community: https://www.stephaniedodier.com/community
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