How to stop repeating patterns in your life starts with understanding WHY they exist in the first place.
The simple answer? How you do one thing is how you do everything.
If you have a history with dieting – like myself – you are probably used to approaching goals the “diet culture way”. In fact, if you want to learn how to stop repeating patterns, you have to change how you approach goals entirely.
HOW TO STOP REPEATING PATTERNS
In my recent pursuit of the goal to have more pleasure and work in life, my coach helped me identify a pattern. What we saw was that how I once approached weight loss goals, was the same way I was approaching this new goal.
This means that I used to see goals as the thing you get when you achieve it. The pursuit of the goal was to achieve the thing, and THEN I would be happy.
But… What if we were allowed to be happy right now?
That is how I approach goals now. Goals have become about learning to be happy now and becoming the version of myself that I need to be for the goal.
What if you allowed yourself to be happy right now, instead of making it conditional on achieving the end goal?
HOW TO STOP REPEATING PATTERNS: A NEW WAY OF PURSUING GOALS
How you do one thing is how you do everything… until you are presented with another way.
However, the first thing to understand when you want to stop repeating patterns in your life is that nothing has gone wrong.
Your brain is just trying to survive. In fact, your brain is approaching different circumstances in your life in a way that has been most efficient for you in the past.
… until you intervene! I use a tool with my clients called ‘Pause. Question. Choose.’ Here’s what that looks like:
Pause. Stop buying into self-critical thinking and do a thought download for the circumstance that is triggering you right now.
Question. Why do I keep repeating the patterns? Could there be another way?
Choose. Take a risk. Trying something different – a new approach, a different perspective.
This is what I call self-coaching. If you want to change your thinking, you have to learn how to self-coach (or pay a coach) in order to produce a different result.
What you’ll learn listening to this episode:
- The #1 reason you keep repeating patterns in your life
- How the all-or-nothing mindset is interfering with your goals
- A new approach to goals that you can use right now
- The self-coaching tool that will help you stop repeating patterns