As health coaches committed to a non-diet approach, one of the most challenging conversations we face is when a client says: “But I need to lose weight.” Whether it’s during a consultation or mid-way through a coaching relationship, this statement can trigger fear, avoidance, or a rush to provide research.
Let’s reframe this moment. Instead of dreading the weight conversation in health coaching, let’s see it as an opportunity for deep, transformational work.
Why Talking About Weight Matters in Non-Diet Coaching
Many professionals freeze, intellectualize, or shut down when a client mentions weight. This reaction is normal—but not useful. We cannot guide our clients toward body acceptance and sustainable health if we can’t hold space for their real concerns.
Weight, for most clients, isn’t the problem. It’s the symbol of deeper emotional and social pain—fear of rejection, desire for belonging, or hope for improved health. Our role as coaches is not to convince them otherwise with science but to create space for their truth and gently guide them toward self-discovery.
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Step 1: Weight Isn’t the Problem—It’s a Signal
When a client brings up weight, don’t avoid it. Recognize it as an invitation to go deeper. Behind “I need to lose weight” is often fear, shame, or a desire to feel safe. Our job isn’t to correct them—it’s to ask questions that help them uncover what weight really represents in their lives.
Step 2: Do Your Own Work First
You cannot hold space for someone else’s experience with weight if you’re still battling your own. If you feel triggered by weight gain or a client’s desire to lose weight, it’s time to pause and explore those feelings. Compassion for yourself creates the foundation for compassion toward others.
Step 3: Normalize and Get Curious
When a client expresses concern about weight, don’t correct—listen. Use powerful coaching questions like:
“Tell me more.”
“What are you making weight gain mean about you?”
“What will change if you lose weight?”
These questions reveal the root of their concern and allow the conversation to move beyond the number on the scale.
Step 4: Identify What’s Really Driving Their Desire
Most clients want to lose weight to reduce suffering—emotional, physical, or social. They want to feel accepted, energized, safe, and healthy. Understanding these motivations allows you to offer alternatives that don’t rely on weight loss.
Step 5: Challenge Beliefs Through Compassionate Reflection
Once your client shares what’s underneath their desire, recap what they’ve said. Then ask:
“Did that last diet really work for you?”
“Did you enjoy the process?”
“Would you like to feel confident without dieting?”
This is your moment to introduce weight-neutral strategies that help your clients meet their goals—without relying on outdated models that center thinness.
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